Raise your hand if you’ve seen my master bathroom. (There’s about 1.75 people with their hands up right now.) I don’t show it to many people! It’s the most unglorious, unaesthetic room ever. A Beauty and the Beast towel from 11 years ago sits next to the new green one I got at Costco. They both have black stains from wiping down my mascara wand. There are probably beard hairs stuck around the sink from my husband shaving, but you’ll never notice because my anti-wrinkle products are all over the counter instead of the drawer. (I blame aging, not my organization skills.)
Oh, we’ve got a whirlpool tub too, which seems great. But for sure don’t press the button to make the bubbles go. I can’t remember the last time I cleaned the jets and who knows what demons from the deep will come shooting out.
It’s the least guest-ready place in my entire house. Which is why only a select few people have ever been in it —people I deeply trust with the hidden, messy parts of my life.
We need people like that. We were designed for relationships like that! God meant for us to be surrounded by people who see the unfiltered and fairly gross parts of us, and don’t judge. Acquaintances are good, friends are better, but master bathroom relationships are essential. They’re life-giving. And from my experience, they’re life-saving.
You need a master bathroom friend to call when your marriage is dangling by a thread and you can’t get out of the broken rollercoaster of fighting, resentment, and distance.
A friend you can confess that innocent flirtation at work that has more of a grip on you than you intended. And now you’re entertaining thoughts of jumping off the edge into something that will destroy your family.
A friend to call and say, “I just can’t quit drinking, smoking weed, taking pills, watching porn….” Fill in the blank with whatever destruction has its claws in you.
A master bathroom friend will point out when you’re dodging time with Jesus and your mess is coming out sideways because of it.
That friend will show up when you’re sick, sad, and struggling so they can pray God’s heart and healing over you.
That friend will hold you accountable to the dreams you said you’d chase but are too scared to work toward.
That friend will make you laugh when you’re fighting that deep funk when everything feels blah and a smile weighs a thousand pounds.
You need someone to lean on when a car breaks down, your heart breaks open, and that bill breaks the bank.
If I would’ve had a master bathroom friend when I went through “the dark ages” of my life I wouldn’t have cheated on my husband. I wouldn’t have gotten divorced. I wouldn’t have turned to drinks, drugs, and demonic practices to fill the ache in my soul. But thank God I have them now!
Maybe you already have someone in your life like this too. If you do, the good Lord has blessed you beyond measure.
But if you feel alone or realize that the mask you’ve been wearing has kept this kind of friend at arm’s length, I’ve got some tips for you. I’ve lived these over the last 8 years and God has gifted me the most beautiful and unexpected souls to walk alongside. I hope it helps you too!
3 Tips to Finding A Master Bathroom Friend
1. Pray, Pursue & Pour Into
Ask God to bring the right friends into your life. I promise He will! And when He does, go after them. Send the text. Extend the invite. Show up for them, too. Deep friendships don’t happen accidentally. They’re built with trust, time, and intentionality.
2. Go First
If you want real, you gotta be real! Take off the mask and be honest. Opening up first gives others permission to do it too. And that vulnerability is the glue that bonds a deep friendship.
3. Look For The Ones Who Stay
Not everyone is willing, able, or even meant to be that kind of friend for you. And that’s okay! But pay attention to who sticks around when life gets real. Who listens without rushing to fix you? Who prays for you instead of preaching at you? Who shows up even when you’re not at your best? Those are your master bathroom people.
Life is messy. And it’s super hard. Don’t make it harder by doing it alone. I pray you find, keep, and treasure those friends who see the mold coming out of your whirlpool bath jets.
They’re true gifts from the Lord.
